LifeForce Coaching for the Body, Mind and Spirit

"Life is like a box of chocolates..."

2011-10-27T07:58:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite games that my sibling’s and I used to play and still sometimes do is “guess the movie quote”. We’ll quote a movie and then say “what’s that from?” My brother (and actually my sister too) are really good at the game as they will stump me from time to time and I’ll have to ask for clues. I was talking to my mom this morning about how fun it is to share movie quotes and words that have been spoken by my family such as “how’s the sauce?”, “you must have a hollow leg” and “on the side of your face” (for those, you had to be there but they still bring smiles to my face and I suspect will continue to do so).

So I was thinking about this while driving into work this morning and a movie quote popped in suddenly; “life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get” (it’s really fun to say it out loud with the Forrest Gump accent). I am not sure why it was this quote on this particular morning. I’m going to take it as a “whisper” from my intuition and write about what it brought about for me and maybe you’ll get a take away from it as well.

My mind raced over this one because I could write about so many things such as: How to embrace change, the gift of acceptance, not knowing what’s next or how sweet life really is. Then it hit me, maybe it’s about all of that and then some. So here we go…

Okay, so I will admit that there have been times in my life where I would poke the bottom of a chocolate candy in order to see if it was the type that I wanted. If it was, great, I would eat it. But if not, I would put it back in the box and pretend it never happened. And of course, since the bottom of it had the hole in it, it could be hidden and covered up and not dealt with unless some further investigation occurred (you know someone else picked it up, went to eat it and bam! you’ve been exposed)

So this made me think of life in general and how we sometimes put “back” and hide what we don’t necessarily “like” (be it our thoughts, feelings, relationships, bodies, finances, career…) and choose something else that might help us forget (be it diving into work and/or another drink, drug, cigarette, cookie, lover, shopping spree…).

Don’t get me wrong, I am all about the freedom to make choices. It is just sometimes that when we make a choice that we wish we hadn’t, we try to cover it up instead of learning what was there for us to learn in the first place. This can lead us to making the same choice again and going around that same mountain wondering why we keep having the same experience when we so desperately want to experience something else.

When we can step up and take complete responsibility for all of our choices “good” or “bad” (remember those are just words and it’s what we make them mean) it sets us free. We no longer have to carry around the burden and guilt whether or not someone other than us will find out what we did (or thought or were). Then we are able to move into a place of acceptance and peace within ourselves and can set an intention to do better next time.

So there you have it. When we can come out of hiding and change what no longer works we can move into a place of acceptance, forgiveness, love and create a sweet life even though we might not know what we’re gonna get.

And what do you know, I do like buttercreams….

p.s. I would love to support you in coming out of hiding. Please contact me at marycunningham67@yahoo.com for a free sample coaching session.

The Liar's Club

2011-09-05T17:43:00.000-07:00

“Stop lying to yourself!”are the words that my friend barked at me while participating in an exerciseduring a three day long intensive. Theexercise called for us to be in our bathing suits (preferably ones that didn’tfit very well) and stand across from each other and judge each other as harshlyas we could. I found it interesting thatthe comments such as “pale, fat, out of shape, round, frizzy hair” didn’treally have that much affect on me. Imean I could look in the mirror and see that it was true. Well at least I saw it as the truth. The two comments that stung were “gave up and stop lying to yourself”. These two souls saw past my outward imageand into my internal world. I was lyingto myself. I don’t even know if I knewthe truth unless it was a lie.

I share this story withyou today because it is time for me to come out of the closet. It is time to admit that I am a miserable, scared,big fat liar.

When we were young wewere taught that telling a lie was wrong and that we should always be truthful. Besides once you start down that slipperyslope, you have to keep track of your lies so that the truth is never foundout. Don’t get me wrong, I am not hereto promote dishonesty. I am justwondering how many times we lied to ourselves because we were afraid ofconfrontation or of being unloved, mistreated, abandoned, misunderstood or(gasp) made wrong. Maybe we hadexpressed ourselves and were shamed for it in some way shape or form.

I can think of many timesI was asked “what’s wrong” and in fear of being unloved or abandoned or madewrong I would just respond with “nothing.” I stayed in my marriage for the fear that if people knew what I wasreally thinking and feeling I would be thought of as “bad” and “wrong”. I kept friendships and intimate relationshipswhen I knew their time had passed for the fear of being alone in thisworld. The cost I incurred showed up inmy body as extra weight causing a downward spiral to low self-esteem. I not only fed myself with food but with excuseafter excuse of why I wasn’t getting my happy ending, why I wasn’t getting thegoodies that everyone around me seem to be receiving. I even made up a lie that had me thinking Ihadn’t experienced enough tragedy in order to REALLY deserve all that life hasto offer.

The coaching model that Iam certified in teaches us that we are everything; light and dark, stupid andsmart, boring and funny, the list goes on. One of my favorite quotes from my teacher has always been “what you can’tbe with won’t let you be”. In otherwords, the more you try to deny a part of yourself, the more it will showup. It might show up in our behavior, inour health, in our relationships or all of the above. When we can stand up and say “I am THAT” itdiffuses the fear and resentment that we have been holding onto and gives usmore freedom and wiggle room to be who we really are. And most of all, when we can accept that weare THAT we are able to experience its opposite. How would you know what it felt like to feellove if you never felt fear or hate? Howcould we feel smart if we never felt stupid? I think you get my point.

In this case, shining thelight on my miserable, scared, big fat liar will illuminate the way to my overjoyed,brave, sexy goddess. I can’t wait to seeher again!

Wishing you all peace andclarity…

Mary Cunningham
Integrative Coach/Leader

A Lesson in Loneliness

2011-03-12T18:39:00.000-08:00

It’s around 11:00 pm on Friday, March 11 and I feel sad and alone. I was bitten by a nasty flu bug last Sunday and my body, mind and spirit are all a little exhausted.

At first I wasn’t going to write this blog because the last thing I want is anyone’s pity. I was also concerned about bringing my reader’s “down”. I didn’t want to come across as the “grim reaper”. Then I thought, “what if, instead of focusing on me and what everyone will think, I decide to write this with the intention of helping another feel better and not so alone?” Now THAT was something I could feel inspired about. It reminded me of what I had learned from my mentor and teacher Debbie Ford during a four day leadership intensive this past January.

Debbie and her amazing staff took us from an “I” mentality into the “we” which was explained to us as the collective. I understood it this way. When we come from the “I”, we make it all about us. “What will they think about me, what if they don’t like me, what if I make a fool of myself?” When we are living in the “I” mentality we live in our heads. We separate ourselves from everyone else. When we come from the collective we look at how we can make a difference in the lives of others, how we can be that beacon for someone that feels lost and alone. We become compassionate and have empathy for others. We start to live from our hearts and become a part of something that is bigger than any of us. Then lo and behold, by helping others we in fact help ourselves.

Making the shift from the “I” to the “we” isn’t easy. I had lived in my head for so long I forgot how to listen to what my heart was telling me. Living in my head looks something like me doing what I can so that you will like me, whether or not that means having to compromise my own integrity in order to do so. I feed off of other’s approval and acceptance. When I come from the heart, I am able to get quiet and listen as well as communicate my feelings and desires without having to worry about what “they” will think about me. I am nourished by faith and trust in our Creator and in myself.

This week was a huge lesson for me in living in the “I”. I was alone and had to fend for myself. I had to learn how to nurture and love myself in the middle of my misery. When I made it all about me and my suffering, I just suffered more. When I remembered that I am never truly alone and that I am a part of the One, as we all are, it brought more peace and healing to my body, mind and spirit. I dropped from my head into my heart and experienced more healing and gratitude than I have in a long time.

As humans we will all have moments of living in our heads and then falling into our hearts. If you are interested in finding out how to live more from your heart and getting out of your head, I encourage you to contact me for a free sample session today!

Sending you all light…

Mary Cunningham
Integrative Coach

Integrate the Rejected

2010-10-06T16:11:00.001-07:00

We have fallen into Autumn. I cannot believe how fast this year has gone by. It seems that we just celebrated the holidays and here they are again around the corner.

If you recall, in my last blog I shared my insights about a movie called Eat Pray Love which created a shift in my life by opening up my heart and mind even more. It was this experience that was the beginning of my making peace with what I was resisting, my failures. I had stated that I would continue to dig underneath the mud and rubble to uncover the powerful being I know that resides inside of me. That is what I’ve been doing for the last six weeks and I would like to share it with you in my hopes that perhaps it will inspire you or in the very least help you to know that you are never alone and everyone is going through something at one time or another and when we come out on the other side, we end up stronger somehow.

I know that I have written about shadow work and how important it is to embrace every single aspect of ourselves in order to live fully and express our true selves. I am not sure who first introduced the shadow but I do know it goes as far back to Carl Jung who speaks of the archetypes of our personality, including the shadow archetype which he describes as:

“The Shadow is the personification of that part of human, psychic possibility that we deny in ourselves and project onto others. The goal of personality integration is to integrate the rejected, inferior side of our life into our total experience and to take responsibility for it.”

The part that really struck me in that sentence was the statement “integrate the rejected”. It made me wonder what parts of me I was still rejecting. Who was it that was doing the kicking and screaming and attracting more of what I didn’t want in my life? Well, wouldn’t you know it? I lined up the perfect scenario to go on a “treasure” hunt of sorts and dig and excavate around my soul.

It all started earlier this year when I found out that I would have to reapply for the job that I was currently doing and even better, I wasn’t selected for that position or any other in my organization. Luckily, I was given a transition position which will keep me employed through the end of this year. The puppy that my ex and I had made a part of our family right after we got engaged passed away, my mom was uprooted from her home and had to undergo surgery that none of us saw coming. There’s more, but you get the gist of it. Once again, as it happens to everyone at some point, my life turned on a dime and I had to choose to keep going.

I felt forced to really take a good look at how I was living my life. I asked myself if I was really living the life that I wanted and more importantly was I returning to the person I was put on this planet to be? I guess I wasn’t ready to explore this until just a week ago. I had hit a “breaking point” and was riding an emotional rollercoaster. Thankfully, I called in reinforcements, my troops so to speak and sat down and had some real conversations. What came out of a conversation with my good friend were a few shadow characteristics that I had been avoiding. I went inside of myself and found aspects such as worthless and pitiful but the one that really rattled my cage was my half-ass self.

In coaching, we encourage the client to go inside of themselves as a sort of meditation and connect with that aspect that has been rejected. To practice what I preach, I connected with my half-ass self to see what was going on. Because I had been rejecting that part for so long, it acted out by starting new things and never quite completing them or doing what was needed to make it “good enough”. My half-ass self didn’t feel worthy or deserving of anything else but “just ok”, if even that. The paradox of this is that even though I had rejected this part of me, it was my underlying belief that I was half assed and I had become quite skilled at attracting people and situations in my life to prove me right.

Now that I have shined some light on and reconnected with my half-ass self I could find the gifts that were waiting for me. The first thing that came to my mind was that if I wasn’t half-assed I wouldn’t have tried all the things I’ve done to find what I am truly passionate about. Sure, there are many things that I haven’t finished but so many things that I have. Another gift is the state of new-found peace and completeness with where I am right now, in this moment.

You see, when we are able to embrace our shadows it bring us that much closer to accepting and acknowledging the light that shines in all of us. It’s a delicate balance, like the Yin-Yang where there wouldn’t be one without the other. For how could I truly be powerful if I didn’t see that I can also be pitiful?

Thank you, as always for reading my blog. I hope that your days are as stress and worry free as you choose them to be.

Dancing in the dark and playing in the light,
Mary

www.life4ce.net
Where the answer is YOU!

When Failure is an Option

2010-08-16T05:39:00.000-07:00

I have no idea where I am going with this so I apologize in advance if I am rambling. I have so much to get out of me and I don’t know where to start. Starting at the beginning would take too long, so I guess I will start with where I am at in this moment.

Have you ever watched a movie, read a book, or heard a song that you would know would change the way you looked at things? Maybe even changed the way you lived your life and had you question who you were? My friends, this happened to me yesterday. I’m not the same and I believe that change is constant and things never stay the same. None of us are the same people that we were twenty four hours ago. We have all had at least a thousand thoughts since them, some new, some the same. Your cells have regenerated and your body has aged. Though this is a digression, I thought it was important to share.

I have not been up this early on a Sunday since my daughter was a baby and I didn’t have a choice but to get up. This morning, I got up to meditate and visualized a large dump truck taking the trash out of my mind and emptying it into a void that went into the center of the earth for our great mother to take care of and incinerate if necessary. I even stood up to pace a few times and realized that I was trying to escape from myself.

This is the first time in my life where I have been alone. By alone, I mean without my parents to pick up the pieces or a partner that I could become obsessed with so that I could take the focus off myself. I am at the end of a divorce process that has now lasted more than a year. Everything is filed and I am just waiting for that final document which will confirm that I failed in my marriage.

Yes, I failed in my marriage. I could not be the person that he wanted me to be. I couldn’t even be the person that I wanted to be. I was so wrapped up in what the status quo was supposed to be that I lost part of me. The part of me that wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, the part that was vivacious, tenacious and sometimes a little crazy became covered up with layers of drywall and mud filled with graffiti like guilt, shame, selfish, bitch and those were the nicer ones. I find it ironic that it was that girl that my husband fell in love with, yet it was that same girl crying for help and change that caused our marriage to dissolve. Though it does take two to tango, I do not blame him for what happened. I blame myself for not speaking up sooner.

The good news about failure is that, if you are willing to look at the situation, you can learn from what happened and choose another option the next time around. Instead of looking at failure as a curse, I’m going to choose to look at is as a blessing. For if I never failed, I might not ever know what it felt like to be successful.

Where does this leave me in this moment? Since I cannot escape myself, actually since I choose to not escape myself, I will continue to dig through the mud and rubble that is covering up that woman in me that is outspoken, strong, vivacious, tenacious, a little crazy, pleasure filled and passionate. Knowing that with each failure and lesson learned exposes her just a little bit more, makes it all worth it to me.

I leave you all with this quote from Anne Sullivan --- ““Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until you have accomplished a purpose - not the one you began with perhaps, but one you'll be glad to remember.”

Sending you all light and love,
Mary

The Two Wolves - Part 2

2010-06-03T09:42:00.000-07:00

I've used the story below before on a blog but am sharing it again with a different point of view.

The Two Wolves

A Cherokee elder was teaching his grandchildren about life.

He said to them, “A fight is going on inside me… it is a terrible fight between two wolves.

One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, hatefulness, and lies.

The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, humbleness, kindness, friendship, generosity, faith, and truth.

This same fight is going on inside of you, and inside every other person, too.”

The children thought about it for a minute. Then one child asked his grandfather,

“Which wolf will win?”
The Cherokee elder replied…
“The one you feed.”

Today, this story took on a new meaning for me. I stepped back, stood at a different angle and read it again.

When I first read the story over a year ago, I thought “Ah, yes. For when we focus on the good in our life we will be sure to create more of that for ourselves”. And now it has taken on a different spin for me.

As most of you may or may not remember from my blog last week, I’ve been sitting in a place of “I don’t know”. Sitting in “I don’t know” has brought forth many opportunities that I know I would have never seen before if I claimed to know it all. It has also brought forth emotions that I am still not always comfortable with. Like the first wolf, I have experienced so much fear, anger, envy, sorry, regret and even hatefulness this last week. Of course, without knowing these feelings we would not know what it felt like on the other side where joy, peace, love, harmony, faith and so forth live. Just because this seems to be the case, it doesn’t always necessarily mean that we should embrace all of our emotions and feel them whenever we need to…or does it?

I wonder if we actually fed the first wolf with acceptance, forgiveness and compassion if that would make it less fearful. Imagine that part of you that sits in fear and regret and all of the other feelings that have been made out to be wrong or bad. What does that part need? Does it need to be ignored and pushed down even further or does it need to be nurtured and loved? Do you need to keep it surrounded by walls or set it free? If you did set it free, what would that look like and feel like? What if it was free to roam about in your psyche knowing that it was ok to be itself and not have to live in fear that you will shut it out?

Some of us have been repressing our feelings for so long that we aren’t sure what we are feeling. I know that has happened to me on many occasions. There have even been times where I have thought to myself “I don’t have time to feel right now”. This week I decided to keep a feelings log to be able to connect with the parts of myself that still might need a little acknowledgment and attention. Not only is it helping me to uncover parts of myself that I thought might not really be there but it is also helping me to realize just how much I do feel happy, joy filled, loving and loveable, no matter what is going on in my life.

And in the words of Neale Donald Walsh “if you want to know the truth about something, ask yourself how you feel about it…”

Sending you love and light...can you feel it?

Mary Laughlin Cunningham
LifeCoach/Writer/Speaker
http://life4ce.blogspot.com/
www.life4ce.net

The Two Wolves

2010-06-02T15:39:00.000-07:00

The Two Wolves

A Cherokee elder was teaching his grandchildren about life.

He said to them, “A fight is going on inside me… it is a terrible fight between two wolves.

One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, hatefulness, and lies.

The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, humbleness, kindness, friendship, generosity, faith, and truth.

This same fight is going on inside of you, and inside every other person, too.”

The children thought about it for a minute. Then one child asked his grandfather,

“Which wolf will win?”

The Cherokee elder replied…

“The one you feed.”

So I sit and ponder today about the angry wolf. I wonder if he is truly angry because you are feeding it or because you have been neglecting and starving it thus making it even more angry and hard to get along with...

Who Am I?

2010-05-27T13:46:00.001-07:00

Today she stood in front of the mirror
“Who am I? Why am I here?”
Though the answers aren’t clear
And she’s not sure what direction to go
She is at peace
When the answer that follows is
“I just don’t know”

Hi there,

I’ve had so many thoughts coming to me the last few days it’s almost difficult to write about just one thing. Because of this, I’ve decided to just let the words out and share what’s going inside of me. It is with this hope that you find what is going on inside of you and even if you aren’t sure what life is going to bring you next, it’s all ok, no matter what.

The last year or so has brought me so many lessons I can no longer count them on my fingers and toes. I have had moments of looking at them as curses, screaming on the inside “what can possibly happen next?” I’ve had times of absolute bliss along with being so low I wasn’t sure if I could pull myself back up and keep going. So what have I learned?

I’ve learned that no matter what, life keeps going. To look at all experiences as blessings. That nothing is more important than friends and family. Jobs come and go. That no matter how hard it rains the sun will come out again. Forgiveness is probably the most important ability that anyone can acquire starting with the forgiveness of the self and then of others. So where does this put me today?

Today, in this moment, I sit in a place of being scared to death and incredibly exhilarated all at the same time. Pieces of my life have turned into ashes and are being washed away with this amazing late spring storm we have been having. As I move through the grieving process of what I’m letting go of, I am celebrating all the new that is coming into my life. The possibility of a new love, a new career, and a renewed friendship is what makes me smile through the tears that I have been shedding. Not to mention the amazing support I have from my friends and family who love me anyway and just because.

So will I be that amazing life coach that inspires humanity to lean back into Oneness? Will I be a New York Times Best Seller? Will I be a mom who teaches her child to take risks and live life full out? I don’t know. But what I do know is that no matter what I become, it will be perfect in its imperfection and that as long as I never forget to keep breathing, keep moving and keep feeling my feelings, it is all going to be exactly as it was meant to be.

What if sitting in the answer of “I don’t know” is what we need to learn to practice in order to allow the windows of unlimited possibilities to fly open and invite us out to experience all that life has to offer? Are you game? If your answer to that is “I don’t know”, you are in the perfect place…

Sending you all much gratefulness and love,

Mary

Observing and Serving - It's a Choice

2010-05-16T13:19:00.000-07:00

All dressed in white
Deep navy accents
And just a little red
No tails worn, just a black tie
The time is now
And down the aisle she’s led

Howdy everyone!

Good to “see” you all again. I’ve been off blazing trails and finding my own way. One of the most important things I’ve learned in the last few weeks is the gift of being an observer of my own life.

I recently officiated my first wedding and it was one of the most profound and beautiful experiences of my life so far. You may wonder how this all started. Well, a few months back a friend of mine had asked me how I would feel about ordaining myself as a minister so that I could officiate her daughter’s wedding. It didn’t take me but a moment to say yes. I was honored and humbled to be chosen for such an event. After a few clicks of the mouse, I became an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church and consider myself to be a practitioner of Oneness (more to come on this later).

After meeting the rest of wedding party at the rehearsal dinner, I knew the wedding was going to be amazing. Not only did the bride and groom show each other show much unconditional love, but the rest of the wedding party were some of the nicest young people that I had ever met.

The day of the wedding I picked up cupcakes, helped set up the room and checked in on the wedding party to make sure that my friend, the mother of the bride could relax and enjoy the day as much as she could. It was a day of service and observance for me. Granted, it felt different for me to be up in front of everyone and not be the center of attention but I have to say that it was a nice change of pace. I wasn’t there for me. I was there to join two hearts together in love, friendship and family. I couldn’t have thought of another better way to serve than this. During the reception, I sat back, enjoyed delicious food and observed all of the different generations sharing in this special occasion.

Another instance of observance came to me about a week ago while working. Many people where I work are in limbo due to the foreshadowing of restructuring departments and lay-offs. The group I work in is being affected and I am so very grateful for the friends I have at work so we can keep each other going strong and remind each other to breathe and laugh every day. When the moments get a bit heavy and scary we vent to each other. Recently, a friend of mine shared his mantra with me. He said “when I feel this way, I tell myself to take a step back”. I thanked him for that and started taking on the practice of taking a step back whenever life feels like it’s just getting to be a bit too much.

When we take a step back, instead of instantly reacting, we put ourselves in a position of making a choice. We can choose to let whatever is happening to us to decide our fate or we can choose to know that no matter what happens to us, it will always be ok and that whatever we are going through, it is for a reason which will bring us to a higher place of acceptance within ourselves. The more that we are able to expand and enhance the level of acceptance we have for ourselves, the more we will be able to live in that realm with others and before you know it people will want to know what your secret is.

So the next time that your wheels spinning, try taking a step back and observe what is really going on. Not what is going on for everyone else but what is going on for you. Look to how you feel about it and find YOUR truth in the situation. Once you can do that, you will find yourself choosing what is best for you.

It’s all about choices!

Love to you and all that you are.

Walls or Boundaries?

2010-03-29T18:17:00.000-07:00

Walls keep us safe

From life’s twists and turns
On the other hand
Boundaries help us to live
Life on our terms

Spring greetings!

I don’t know about you, but the spring fever bug has definitely hit me. With the warming of the sun, the singing of birds and sprouts representing new life, it almost feels like I’m in a musical. Most days I can’t help but to burst out in song or whistle a happy tune just because.

OK, so now you might be saying “what is she on and where can I get some of that?” Friends, I am here to tell you that while it has taken me 42 years to get here, I finally get just how deserving I am along with how loved, loving and loveable I am. It didn’t happen by winning the lotto, finding my soul mate or even being at my “goal” weight. It happened by me realizing there were mountains to climb, obstacles to maneuver and walls to bust through. When I look in the morning at myself and say “I love you and accept you as you are in this moment”, I actually believe it.

Now that I’ve arrived at that place, it might seem easy to say that anyone can accomplish this feeling. Going through it myself, however, I know the truth. Some days it is easier to believe and then there are the days when you wake up and don’t feel like putting on a happy face or those times where you just think to yourself “why can’t I get a break”? I’ve been there, I’ve bought many of the shirts and who knows, from time to time I might go back and visit that place to learn yet another lesson.

What I’ve learned so far is this. I have had to learn how to take full responsibility for my life and honestly, come to terms with the fact that I hadn’t grown up quite yet. I definitely passed my childhood and tween years, but I was stuck somewhere between 13 and 42. I didn’t really know what it was like to live on my own and be accountable. I had no clue on how to be an adult. It was certainly a wakeup call and not as fun as I thought it was going to be. It was time to come to terms with my decisions and choices and how they’ve shaped my life up until this moment.

This shift toward adulthood has had blessings along the way and a fair share of curses. Those moments of feeling cursed came from a “lower” place in me where I stayed boxed-in and busy blaming whatever and whomever I could for my lot in life. That even included blaming me which is otherwise known as guilt. Guilt for who I was, who I wasn’t, who I hurt, who hurt me…you get the picture. The blessings, on the other hand, came in lessons, a-ha moments and forgiveness.

During this period, I realized that there were definite walls that needed to be broken down and that in order to live life on my terms, it would be imperative to put some healthy boundaries in place. If I wasn’t able to break down the walls, I would repeat the same circumstances, yet expect different results. What a perfect blend of crazy that is, no? I went brick by brick, some crumbing with just a touch of my hand, others needing a sledgehammer to get all the way through. I started seeing new light and life through the holes in the wall and kept going. I wanted to see what was on the other side. The feeling I had once I got there was “what do I do now”? I knew I didn’t want to go back and repeat the past but wasn’t sure how to move forward. I went back to my coaching notes and my journals to see if anything jumped out at me. There it was in black and white “setting healthy boundaries”.

At first, I was afraid that setting boundaries would mean that I would have to distance myself from others. Of course I could choose to see it that way, but now that I was looking at life from a different view, I decided to see boundaries as the safety net that we all need in order to bravely go out into the world, take risks and move courageously toward our dreams.

That safety net of boundaries helps us to stay in integrity when deciding what may or may not be in our best interest. It helps us steer clear of negative energy, events and interactions that zap our life force leaving us tired, overwhelmed and stuck.

As you flow through this week, look around and see where you may need to set a boundary in your life. Are you still saying “yes” when what you really want to say is “no”? If so, there may be a hole in your safety net that is in need of some repair. If you have a safety net securely in place, and are willing to share how you arrived there, please feel free to post a comment on my blog page. Your words just may help others weave their nets.

Sending you all love and light,

Mary Laughlin Cunningham
Integrative Life Coach
http://www.life4ce.net/
“Where the difference is you”

Need VS. Deserve

2010-01-06T12:52:00.000-08:00

We’ve all made them
We’ve all failed them
Focused on the need
Instead of the deed
Shift the perspective
Uncover a true gem

Welcome to a new decade! I hope you all had a wonderfully safe New Year and have welcomed in 2010 with open arms and hearts.

OK, so I feel compelled to bring up the topic of resolutions. We have all made them and broken them within weeks, days, even minutes. It made me wonder, do we make these resolutions knowing that we are going to break them? Why make them in the first place? We all start out hopeful, ready to take on a new year and create a new us. We resolve to lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking, play more, make more money, work harder, the list goes on and on. When asking others about their resolutions, the response I often hear sounds something like “I NEED to (fill in the blank here)”. I’ve even used that phrase myself.

This causes us to sit in the space of need in order to do something to make us feel better about ourselves. Of course, it is a great idea to get in better health and become the next best you there is, but do we make these resolutions with the knowledge that everything we NEED is already inside of us? Or are we once again looking for that magic bullet that is going to make the difference for us “this time”? What if I told you I had the magic bullet we are all looking for? Is it a powder, a pill, a miracle elixir? Nope. Is it going to cost you an arm and a leg to get it? Nope. Are you ready for it? Are you sure? Do you have what it takes? The secret ingredient to getting the results that you want and living your dream is:

YOUR THOUGHTS AND BELIEFS!

Well, alright, so that’s two things but since your thoughts and beliefs go hand in hand, let’s call them the one secret ingredient. I can write a book about how our thoughts and beliefs affect our lives but that’s for another project. In order to get where you want to go you must BELIEVE that you DESERVE it.

I got a strong message around this a few weeks ago while attending an open house at a new and wonderful wellness center I stumbled upon. I kept repeating “I really need to get going”. Three hours later, one of my fellow lightworkers said “weren’t you supposed to leave 3 hours ago?” I replied to him “well I guess I needed this”. He took my hand in his, looked me in the eyes and said “no, you deserved it”. I will never forget that moment. I got a chill up my spine as my eyes filled with tears and said “you are right, I did deserve this”. Since that day, whenever I hear myself saying “I need” I turn it around and say “I deserve”. It has been an amazing transformation for me.

My challenge for you this week is to look at the resolutions or goals you made for yourself this year so far. If any of them started with “I need”, replace the word need with deserve and see how that feels. For example, instead of “I need to get this extra weight off”, shift that to “I DESERVE to live a healthy life”. Did you feel the shift in the vibration of that?

I would like to end this blog with an excerpt from the book Finding Your Strength in Difficult Times by Dr. David Viscott.

“You deserve to give your best as well receive the best. The world deserves to hear from you. As a matter of fact, the world needs to hear from you. Maybe the reason you don’t feel deserving is that you aren’t giving enough of what you were put here to give.”

Meditation: I deserve all the good I can imagine, all the joy I can carry, the company of friends, the love of myself. All the good. I deserve it.

Sending you all the love, light and peace that you deserve,

Mary Laughlin Cunningham
Life Coach/Author/Speaker/Writer
www.life4ce.net
"Where the difference is YOU"

God bless us everyone and every part

2009-12-13T20:54:00.000-08:00

When in a bad mood
Especially at this time of year
They may call you Scooge
Insisting on holiday cheer

To make matters worse
You drag out your internal bat
Making yourself wrong
For this and that

Accept all of you and all that you are
No more excuses and no more blame
Turn that bat into kindling
Stoke your internal flame

Hello one and all,

I hope that your cup is still running over and that you are having the happiest of holidays. If you aren’t feeling quite as chipper as you think you should, this week’s blog will be right up your alley. Call it divine guidance or instinct but I was inspired to write about one of this holiday’s infamous characters, Ebeneezer Scrooge and how he lives in all of us. You might say “Bah!” to that statement but the sooner you embrace your Ebeneezer like qualities, the more peaceful you will truly be.

Though this is my favorite time of year, last week a friend of mine called me Scrooge because I wasn’t being my usual happy and jovial self. When I got home that evening I thought of how many times that I beat myself up because I wasn’t the (happy, smart enough, thin enough, pretty enough) person that I thought someone expected me to be. But this time when I was “accused” of not being cheery enough I laughed it off. I was able to laugh it off and remain unaffected by what the person was saying because I am able to love the Scrooge part of me.

As a coach, by asking my clients powerful questions, I help them to uncover parts of themselves that they have been resisting. One of the first steps in this process is to create a list of people (that you know or don’t know) that you don’t like or you would never want to be compared to. The next part is to make a list of that person’s qualities. So when I was called Scrooge I asked myself “what qualities does Scrooge possess”? Selfish, stingy, cruel, clueless, and angry are the qualities that I thought of right off the bat. The next step in the process is to ask “has there ever been a time where I’ve been selfish, stingy, cruel, clueless and angry”? The answer is yes to all of the above. I’ve been them all at one point or another.

You might ask yourself (I know I have) what’s so great about being selfish, stingy, cruel, etc? It takes practice but I guarantee that you will find a gift in that quality that you have resisted. For example, I’ve been selfish and stingy when spending time with my daughter because I do not get the benefit of being with her every day anymore. I’ve been cruel plenty of times to myself. I have lost count of the times I’ve been clueless and of course I’ve been angry. Even if I wasn’t able to recall a certain time where I’ve been these qualities, I have learned that being human and put under certain circumstances will bring out qualities in us that we didn’t know we were capable of.

The other lesson that I learned is that until we are able to accept everything we view as “bad” or “wrong”, we will be stuck and unable to stand in our power, shine in our greatness and share ourselves completely (body, mind and spirit) with the world. Isn’t that the real reason we are all here?

So if you find yourself wanting to say “Bah Humbug!” this season just remember that in order for Ebeneezer to show everyone the truly happy and giving person he was, he had to meet his “faults and misgivings” face to face and make peace with them.

Here’s to a week of decking the halls and loving it all!

Warm blessings,

Mary Laughlin Cunningham
Life Coach/Author/Workshop Facilitator

http://www.life4ce.net/
Where the difference is YOU!

One Cup At a Time

2009-12-06T20:01:00.000-08:00

Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life – think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced. – Swami Vivekananda

Hello everyone,

I hope that your week and weekend was filled with peace and relaxation.

This morning I went out to do a little bit of shopping and put myself in the midst of the “holiday rush”. I met everyone I saw with a hello and smile. I was amazed at the people who were stunned by a stranger saying hello and actually smiling at them. While it warmed my heart to connect with strangers, I noticed that most of the people running around were on a mission and not taking the time to stop and enjoy the moment they were in. It was almost like I could see their wheels spinning doing what they needed to get done to get onto the next thing.

When I got home I thought of how often I find myself thinking about the future and what my dreams and goals are for the coming year. I thought about everything that I wanted to accomplish and ended up having to take some deep breaths to bring me back to the NOW moment. In that now moment, I began to make a list of not only what I accomplished during the year but also what I considered an incompletion. After celebrating my completions, I took a list at my incompletions and was reminded of a conversation I had with a friend of mine a few weeks ago.

We were on the phone talking about our goals for the future and how when we get excited about creating more opportunities that will move us forward in pursuing our dreams we tend to jump in with both feet and find that our energies get scattered across other areas of our lives. That one new thing that inspired us can end up being “just one more thing to do”. He used a beautiful analogy that went like this, “it is like I have all these glasses on the counter to fill and only have a cup of water to fill them all’. If you had 5, 6 or even 10 glasses on that counter, some would contain a few drops, some would have a little more and some would have none. Now, imagine that you could only drink from one of those glasses. Would your thirst be quenched? Would you feel nourished?

In life coaching, I ask my clients to fill out a “life wheel” where they rate certain areas of their lives including spirituality, relationships, career, finances, health, leisure time and home and surroundings. The areas are rated from 1-10 with 1 being the lowest vibration that they are living from to 10 being the highest. Just like the glass analogy used above, if a client chooses to work on more than one area at a time, they might end up feeling incomplete and undernourished from not paying enough attention and focus to just one area. Learning to focus their attention and energy on just one area will bring them to their goal that much sooner. One of their glasses on the counter is now full and overflowing into the next glass.

Your challenge and opportunity for the week is to see how many glasses you have on the counter and ask yourself “what do I need to do or let go of to allow this glass to runneth over”? If you need to put a few glasses in the cupboard, that’s ok. They will be there when you are ready to fill them up!

Here’s to a week of extra nourishment and hydration.

Blessings to all,

Mary Laughlin Cunningham
Life Coach/Author/Workshop Leader
http://www.life4ce.net/
Where the difference is YOU

Stuffing - Let's leave it to the birds...

2009-11-23T21:03:00.000-08:00

It’s used in toy bears

And turkey’s too
Let’s take a look then
At the stuffing in you

Hello my dear family,

I hope that you all had a great week and that you are looking forward to spending the upcoming holiday with friends and loved ones.

This week I sat in contemplation around what I have been most thankful for this year. I am thankful for the courage and tenacity it has taken me to discover the real me. It’s been over three years now and the journey continues. While this year has not been easy or comfortable, it has been perhaps the most rewarding to me. I have been presented with the greatest opportunities for growth and I have just begun to uncover what I stuffed down for so long.

Stuffing is fine for toys and turkey but when it comes to a way of life I wouldn’t recommend it. We self sabotage ourselves when we keep our feelings inside of us. Whether the feelings are based on fear or love, we become afraid to reveal our true selves because of what others might think of us. The need to feel accepted and acknowledged becomes so important that we forget who we are and what we want. We hold back because we don’t want to be rejected. I ask you, what’s more tragic? Being rejected by someone or rejecting ourselves?

When we reject ourselves our thoughts and emotions begin to turn toxic. We begin to believe that we are not deserving or worthy of having everything we want in our life. To make ourselves feel better we either compartmentalize or deny what is really going on. We get involved in using stuff on the outside to make the stuff on the inside more comfortable. We overeat, overspend and overindulge creating a vicious cycle of merely surviving and not truly thriving.

What is even worse is that when we fill ourselves with stuffing we cover up the best part of ourselves, our light and our unique gift that is so needed in the world, right now! So my wish for you this holiday season is for the comfort and security that you need to share your innermost selves with those who you hold so close, starting with yourself. Let’s keep the stuffing on the table where it belongs.

I’m so grateful for all of you!

Peace, blessings and warm wishes,

Mary

Who's to blame?

2009-11-16T18:41:00.000-08:00

Playing the blame game

There’s never a winner
No matter who it is that’s playing
A saint or a sinner

Hello everyone,

Hope your week was full of excitement and that you all reached a little bit outside of your comfort zones. Because I have spent a lot of time outside of my comfort zone lately, I decided to celebrate and return to one of my favorite places of comfort, the mall!

Walking through those doors at Macy’s, seeing all the fashion, smelling the perfume and looking at all the décor was like returning home for me. I wanted to shop till I dropped, but I was stopped in my tracks. The only item in my wallet that was plastic was my driver’s license. I wanted to celebrate and be happy that I was no longer living on credit but instead I felt frustrated and a bit depressed. I wanted to be able to shop, to get that fix that used to feed me. The frustration turned into a little bit of anger which quickly turned to blame.

Let’s see, who could I blame for not being able to shop? First, I could blame the credit card companies who charge outrageous interest rates making it next to impossible to EVER pay them off. Second, I could blame my parents for never teaching me the importance of saving money and lastly I could have blamed my ex-husband for not helping me out with my serious financial issue forcing me to close all my accounts and start paying off my debt all on my own. If I let myself stew in this self pity any longer, I am sure I could have come up with more people and events to blame for my inability to get things. At this point, the “old” me may have just decided to be pissed off and leave the mall casting blame and judgment on whomever I thought deserved it. Though it seems like I was immersed in this blame game for what seemed like hours, in reality it lasted only for a few minutes.

Because of the inner work that I’ve done, two things happened next. The first thing that I did was take a second to acknowledge the part of me who was selfish and pouted when she didn’t get what she wanted. I found the girl inside of me that wanted the golden goose and wanted it now! I took a minute to sit down on a bench in the mall, close my eyes and talk to her. I explained that while we may not always get what we want, we will always have what we need and that anytime she wants to throw a tantrum, I’ll be there to listen. After taking a deep breath, I stood up and continued to walk about the mall, taking in the people, the beautiful decorations and the lovely clothes, shoes, bags, all of it. It felt good to not need any of it and just enjoy the scenery.

The lesson that I learned at the mall was that sitting in judgment and blaming others keeps us stuck in the past and we end up giving our power away to something outside of ourselves. It becomes almost impossible to move forward and take action. It is something like saying “well he/she/they/it did this to me so there is nothing I can do about it.” With that frame of mind we become stagnant and our choices become very limited. The only way that we can stop looking back and start looking forward is to take full ownership of our part in whatever the situation might have been. When we do this, we are able to move through life with open arms, eyes, ears, heart and minds creating limitless opportunity.

Next time you find yourself wanting to blame someone or something take a step back, a deep breath and see what part you played in the game. What are you willing to do to turn around the blame, own the game and create a winning outcome, not just for you but for everyone involved?

Wishing you a week of endless possibility and discovery!

Me...Me...Me!

2009-11-09T20:21:00.000-08:00

Time spent wracking our brains

Trying to figure out who we’re supposed to be
The most important thing to remember
Is that it’s not you, it’s me

Greetings all,

Thank you for all your kind comments on my blog last week. I hope you were all able to sit in gratitude for all that you do have and that you took some time out just for you. This week the focus is on ME time.

Many of us rush through our days busy with our careers and our families forgetting to take time out for ourselves. We are faced with daily responsibilities and before you know it, the homework is done, the dishes are cleaned and then it’s time to collapse into bed ready to start it all over again in seven or eight hours, if we're lucky enough to give ourselves that much rest.

Some of us haven’t learned to take the quality ME time that we need every day. Perhaps we grew up learning to please others or we were afraid that we’d be called selfish if we took time out for ourselves. For many years, I struggled with being called selfish. I was taught, as many were, that being selfish is bad and not right. Being selfish to a lot of people means only thinking of themselves without regards for any other person. I do believe if taken to extreme, being selfish will rob you of your true purpose in life. Perhaps a step to getting closer to your true purpose is to accept that on some level you may be seen as selfish because you know how to take care of your body, mind and spirit first before being of service to others. You make it a daily practice to fill your own container of self worth and love so that it overflows out into your world. It is not only important but imperative to learn how to do this. Robbing yourself of self care can lead to resentments, anger and just plain exhaustion.

Whether it’s through exercise, reading, writing, listening to music or just sitting still, we all need some time each day to recharge our batteries. This week I encourage you to take a few minutes each day just for you. Find something that fills you with joy. See if you can start with just 2 or 3 minutes and then add a minute each day allowing more serenity into your life.

And if you are worried about seeming selfish when taking time for you, take the advice of any flight attendant and “put on your oxygen mask before assisting another.”

Breathe it in…

Less is More

2009-11-09T18:53:00.000-08:00

Remember the saying

He who dies with the most toys wins
I think it is due time to examine our values
To wake up and realize
He with the highest of scores
Is he who has learned that needing less
Gives you so much more

Hello everyone,

I hope that you all had a safe and fun Halloween. I was able to volunteer in my daughter’s classroom for part of the day and what a gift and treat that was for me. It reminded me of the simple things in life and that it is possible to have a great time without affecting my checking account. As I sat in this moment of “some of the best things in life are free” I decided to share my thoughts around money and what I’ve learned this week.

Due to the state of the economy, we have all had to cut back and reduce our spending. We’ve had to cut corners and some have even had to make very difficult decisions such as home foreclosure and filing bankruptcy. One of my greatest secrets that held so much shame was the amount of credit I had racked up. I became one of the statistics that was living on credit and was in denial about the damage that it could do. Not only did being in denial and hiding this shame create issues with my credit report, but it caused some irrevocable damage to a certain relationship in my life. I am not writing this blog to talk about my shame and how I kept it hidden. That’s a whole other story in itself. Instead today, I am going to write about the gift of this shame.

The gift I have been given is the gift of making new choices and finding the pleasure in little things and yes, living with less than what I was used to. I was used to being able to buy what I wanted when I wanted. Shopping was my addiction and in order to break that addiction, I had to sign up with a debt management company and get rid of all my credit cards. I can now celebrate living within my means and not using credit cards for over a year now. Though this hasn’t always been fun or easy, living with less has given me so much more. I have learned to take better care of my things and appreciate what I have. And now when I treat myself every once in a while to a nice meal or even a delicious latte, I savor the moment and not take it for granted. I make sure to hang up my clothes after work or after they come out of the dryer and when I go to bed at night, I am grateful for the roof over my head and the bed I have to sleep in along with so many other priceless things, my family, my friends, my community and the list goes on.

It has been said that there is a purpose for everything under heaven and maybe the purpose for the economy crisis is to teach us how to live in appreciation and gratitude for everything that we do have.

Food for thought (thoughts are free after all)…

With respect and humility,

Mary Laughlin Cunningham

Surprise!

2009-11-09T18:51:00.000-08:00

“…this is more about our life plans and how we make them…but if we’re really honest with ourselves, many of our plans don’t work out as we hoped…so instead of asking what are my plans for the future maybe we should tell ourselves, plan to be surprised.”

The above paraphrased quote was from a movie “Dan in Real Life”. Our character Dan was talking about life plans and how they don’t work out as we had thought we wanted.

How many times have you made plans only to find out that what actually happened wasn’t anything that you had expected? I think one of the great paradoxes of life is that we make plans with the best of our intentions, yet life has a way of showing up and giving us something different. We find ourselves asking “how did I get here?” I know that in the last couple of months, I have asked myself that very question. Sitting in the space of “what the heck happened?” you have two choices, either to react or act.

Reacting, in my opinion, is focusing on what didn’t happen instead of being in the present moment to what life wants you to experience. We stay in resistance to what is in front of us and rack our brains by going over and over, step by step, what we could or should have done differently. Reacting gives us an opportunity to point the finger and blame other people, places and things for the circumstances that now exist. It also keeps us stuck in the past unable to let go, accept what is and move forward. Resentment starts to build up keeping us closed off to seeing new opportunities and possibilities.

Choosing to act is another term for taking action. When we decide to take action, we see things as they are, not how we wanted or expected them to be. Instead of focusing on what went “wrong”, we learn to find the lessons by uncovering, integrating and accepting ourselves and how our choices and free will contributed to the experience. We sit in acceptance, chalk it up to “life happens” and take away the gifts, moving forward ready and willing to see something new. We go with the flow instead of padding desperately upstream.

I am a firm believer that the Universe has greatness planned for all of us. Part of that greatness lies in how we act or react to the surprises that show up in our life. So next time you find yourself surprised or when your life show’s up in the middle of your best laid plans, will you act or react?

And when you are sitting in the place of “what happened here?”, always remember what John Lennon said “life is what happens to us while we’re busy making other plans”.

Wishing you a week full of surprises!

Boo!

Shadows and Addictions - BFF's

2009-11-09T18:48:00.000-08:00

Hello all,

Each week, I usually start my blog with a short poem that I wrote. Due to the subject of my blog this week, I chose this quote instead:

“We move in our recovery from one addiction to another for two major reasons: first, we have not recognized and treated the underlying addictive process, and second, we have not accurately isolated and focused upon the specific addictions.” - Anne Wilson Schaef, Ph.D.

As most of you know, the coaching work that I’ve emerged myself in for over three years now focuses on the shadows that lie within each of us. I ran across this description of the shadow recently which states:

“Hidden or unconscious aspects of oneself, both good and bad, which the ego has either repressed or never realized. They are rejected aspects of ourselves and also underdeveloped potential. Jung said our shadow is 90% gold.”

The only thing I would change with the above quote would be the words “both good and bad.” I would replace those words with both light and dark. The reason is because we have both light and dark qualities of ourselves that we keep locked down and hidden. Because we aren’t able to be with these qualities, we will do whatever it is that we need to in order to remain unconscious of what lies within us. We seek solace in external comfort by using food, work, people, money, alcohol, drugs and whatever else it takes to get through another day. After awhile these “things” on the outside turn into addictions. Some may think that the longer we live on the outside of us, the deeper the addiction may be. What I do know, by my own experience, is that until we are able to uncover, accept and integrate those parts of us that we are hiding, it is quite possible that we will move from one addiction to another.

Addiction is not just about drugs and alcohol, even though that is what most people associate it with. That is what I used to think. To better understand addiction, the first thing I did was look up one of the definitions for it which describes it as being “the condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied or involved in something”. This may be presumption but I am fairly sure that we have all, at one point in our lives found ourselves compulsively occupied with something. I know that I’ve experienced addiction around diets, relationships and spending sprees to name just a few. When I become compulsively occupied in any of these situations, it is usually because there is something inside of me that I am either unaware of or am too afraid to deal with. I am not an expert on addictions but I do believe that no matter what your “poison” is, it can rob you of your passion, your soul and your life. Therefore, it is important to understand where our addictions come from first before we can start to get control of them.

Do I think that our addictions will go away if and when we are willing to look inside of ourselves and uncover something we have yet to see? Because we are humans I don’t think we can ever rid ourselves of whatever addictions we might be suffering from. However, if we are willing to do the internal work to unlock that which is in us that we don’t think we can handle or be with, that will be one small step to enlightenment and one huge step for living your life as the extraordinary being that you are!

I keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for being you.

2009-11-09T18:44:00.000-08:00

Have you ever woken up

And pulled the sheets o’er your head
Not wanting to get up
And face the day ahead

What is it you’re afraid of
This could be your best day yet
Throw the covers off your body
Invite in the light, let go of regret

Happy Fall everyone,

Can you believe that we’re into November? Where has this year gone? It feels like yesterday was the beginning of the year and now we are approaching the end. Since fall is the time for gathering and harvesting, I thought this would be the perfect week to talk about what it is that you’ve planted this year and what it is that you would like to be harvesting.

My year has been a bit insane but there is so much I am grateful for. At the beginning of the year, I planted some unexpected seeds in a barren garden bed. Doing my own internal work provided the soil with plenty of nutrients so when it was time for harvest, the healthiest and richest part of me surfaced and is now ready to be plucked from the ground and integrated into my soul. This healthy and rich part of me comes down to one word, responsibility. While I have been responsible in some areas of my life, it was very clear that I was very irresponsible with others. The harvesting of my heart and soul has shown up as me taking responsibility for all areas of my life and doing something every day (ok almost every day) that is new and different and that sometimes scares me.

There have been days where I don’t know where I get my strength from but one thing I can say for sure is I have NEVER felt more alive than I do right now. Just last night I opened up to a dear friend of mine and what I shared had me feeling very vulnerable and scared to death. I was scared because I knew that what I was sharing could freak them out but I also knew that if I didn’t share my authentic self, not only would I be robbing that person of really knowing my heart, but more importantly I would be robbing myself of fully living.

As I sat down to write this blog I thought “Sure we all know what we need to do to survive and exist but do we know what we need to do to fully experience being alive?” Is it recognizing, integrating and celebrating our beliefs, thoughts and feelings instead of using some external agent (work, tv, food, sex, exercise, drugs, alcohol, etc) to numb out? Is it being true to ourselves first and figuring out what feeds our soul instead of selling out to who others want us to be? I don’t think there is one right question to find all your answers. Maybe it is a gathering of powerful questions that will help you to listen to what your body, mind and spirit are telling you.

As the days get shorter and the evenings longer, I encourage you to take an inventory of what you have harvested this year. Is it more of the “same ol’, same ol’? If it is more of the same, ask yourself “have I fully lived each and every day to the BEST of my abilities this year”? If the answer is no, you might want to take a look around on the inside to see what shifts you would need to take in order to create your best year yet. We have ninety-five days left this year, let’s make them all count! Are you with me?

Wishing you a bountiful harvest full of gratitude and peace.

What are they thinking?

2009-11-09T18:40:00.000-08:00

Putting a priority on what others think

Offers us no more than grief
And saps our energy and power
But what matters most is what we think of ourselves
Because for what anyone thinks of us
Is their business and none of ours

Hello all,

I hope last week was filled with lots of breathing space for you. I made sure to follow my own advice this week and create the space I needed to reflect and spend some time reading and writing.

As you may know, I get a lot of my blog ideas from things I may have read or from conversations I have had with others. A recent conversation I had with a girlfriend of mine was around how, as humans, we have the tendency to put a lot of value on what others think about us. That had me thinking a bit about how much time and energy we waste worrying about what to say, what to do or who to be so other’s will think highly of us. We walk on eggshells around certain people in our lives in fear of being ourselves and speaking and acting from our hearts. Well guess what, no matter how good we get on walking lightly on those eggshells, they are going to think whatever they want and we have no way to control that.

Now does that mean that I think that we should do, say and be whoever we want without taking anyone’s feelings into consideration? Not really. But first, I think we need to examine why we do, say and be who we are in our interactions with others. What part of ourselves are we feeding and giving our energy to? Are we putting on a mask so we don’t expose who we really are, or are we coming from that place of authenticity that exists within all of us?

Now you might be thinking, how do I know when I am being authentic? There are several definitions of the word but I think it comes down to knowing who your true self is, and acting as much as you can from that place within you. I further believe you arrived into this world as your true self who was pure love and light energy filled with wonderment, emotions, excitement, inspiration and kindness.

This week, I encourage you to pay attention to your interaction with others and ask yourself the question “am I being authentic and my true self or am I more concerned with what they think and who they think I need to be?”

Wishing you a week of great interaction with yourself and others.

Breathing Space - Do you have enough?

2009-09-10T22:59:00.000-07:00

It’s easy for us to get caught up
With life’s crazy pace
Do we stop and take notice
Of our breathing space?

This week’s blog was inspired by a conversation I was having with a friend this week. We were talking about our recent experiences and where we were in life. Being the friend I am, I asked him if he was satisfied with his life. His response that followed had me asking “so would you say that you are breathing but not truly living?” He told me that was a good way to put it. He has learned to compartmentalize certain feelings in order to comfortably sustain his place in life. I know that he is not the only one who has done this. I know that I have and I’m pretty sure at one point and time most people have.

That had me thinking, maybe we take breathing for granted because it is easy and not something we have to think about. In this day and age, we have so much going on it’s nice to know that we don’t have to think about one other thing. But just for the few minutes that it takes for you to read this, I am going to ask you to pay attention to your breathing. Where is your breathing right now? Is it slow, deep and relaxed or is it quickened and shallow? Stop right now and notice where it is, just notice it, don’t try and change it. Was it what you expected?

The next question I have might not be so easy to answer. The question is this. Are you living and breathing? The good news is that we don’t forget to breathe but do we forget to live? Live as is experiencing the present moment, live as in keeping open to all the possibilities that lay before you? For most of us, including me, it’s not easy to live each day to the fullest but is there one thing you can do this week to get closer to living just one day or even just a few hours filled with inspiration and passion? What is that one thing? This is what I will ask myself every day this week. How about you?

Here’s to a week with lots of breathing space and making the most out of it!

Sharing the light with all of you,
Mary

Living Inside Out

2009-09-10T22:58:00.000-07:00

Some use external resources
This is the path they’ve taken
But as Carl Jung so eloquently wrote
Those who look outside dream
Those who look inside awaken

Dear Ones,

Hope you had a blessed week of going with the flow and living in the unknown. This week I’m going to start with a story that was told by Wayne Dyer in his latest PBS Special “Excuses Be Gone”.

There was a story about an old woman who lived in the Himalayans. Every day she would walk to the river to sit and rest. In her hand she carried a bag that held bread in case she was to get hungry. On this particular day at the river, she saw a shining rock at the bottom of the shallow riverbed. She fished out the stone realizing that not only did it take up the whole palm of her hand, but that this was not a stone but a precious jewel and could bring her anything she wanted in the world. She dried the stone and put it in her bag and went on with her day.

One day, a man approached her exclaiming that he had been traveling for a while and was hungry and asked if she had something to eat. She willingly took a piece of bread and handed it to him. While she was doing this, he noticed the stone in her bag. He said to her “that is a beautiful stone, may I have it?” She said “of course”, reached in her bag and handed him the stone. He held the stone in his hand knowing that all of his problems were solved as now he would have all the abundance, wealth, success, etc that he’s always dreamt of.

The next day, the man found the woman again sitting at the river. He came to return the rock to her. When asking him “why would you return such a precious jewel to me?” He told her, “what I want is more precious than this jewel could ever be, what I want is whatever that you have inside of you to offer me this stone”…

When I heard that story my eyes glassed over and I thought “yes”. I also began to think about how so many of us, including myself, put so much value on things, situations and even people that are on the outside of us. It used to be the only way I knew how to live.

Not until I started training as a life coach did I really see the importance of how we feel and what we belive about oursevles on the INSIDE is what shapes our realities and that while we could make sure that our lives appear pefect and happy on the OUTSIDE by acquiring the perfect job, the perfect mate, great clothes and a nice car, until we are willing to get still, quiet our minds and learn to look inside ourselves, we most likely will be left wanting. I’ve even found myself doing hundreds of affirmations, writing unlimited journal entries, buying bookshelves of self help books and attending dozens of seminars in order to find the answer that I thought I needed to get me to where I wanted to be in life. While yes, in a few of these workshops and books I learned to look inside of myself, I would find myself falling back into old patterns whenever it started to get uncomfortable to be quiet and still and start to delve into the depths of my existence. Action steps became too hard because it meant that I was going to have to face parts of myself that I thought were too scary or even worse, people wouldn’t like me and I would be left alone which would mean that I would really have to face my biggest fear, how I really feel about myself. It wasn’t until just last week that I realized I was going “half-way” with my coaching because it kept me safe and I didn’t have to really put myself out there.

In order to go full tilt and make my dreams a reality, I am going to have to go inside even more and uncover whatever limitations and beliefs are still there that continue to hold me back. I have decided to document this process not only in writing but also through a video blog that I will share on my weekly blogs and on my website. This will be my first step in getting out into the world and it is with hope and intention that other people will join me in the process of transformation and illumination.

I am grateful for all of you and look forward to being on the journey of transformation with you.

The light in me cherishes the light in you,

Do you really want to know

2009-09-10T22:57:00.001-07:00

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a crystal ball
To show us which way we need to go
But the Universe gives us the gift
Of being with “I just don’t know”

Dear Ones,

I hope you all had a great week of being in the moment and experiencing your life.

As many of you know, I am going through some major life shifts. There have been so many days where I wake up wondering where life is going to take me next. I’ve considered consulting a psychic for guidance and find myself on some days asking my friends for advice. While it’s important to get validation for my decisions, I am ultimately the only one who can decide if what I’m doing is right for me. What is even more important is being comfortable with not knowing where life might be taking me.

It’s funny, I’ll be at work and I will hear people get frustrated when they ask someone a question and the answer they get back is “I don’t know”. Is that because none of us are comfortable with not knowing? Is it because we have set expectations that we should know? Of course, it’s important to know what we’re doing when it comes to work and often I might say “I don’t know but let me see if I can find out for you”. It’s just another form of being in service to others. But on the other side of the coin, if more people were ok with living in the unknown, would that make things easier for them?

Debbie Ford, my spiritual teacher and mentor says that “knowing is the boobie prize.” We can make plans and set goals for our lives but I think by needing to know what is going to happen can set us up for disappointment. It can also limit us to what we can accomplish. If we are set on needing to know what is going to happen, we pigeon hole our possibilities. It’s important for us to make plans and set goals that will help us to become who we were meant to be in our lives, but it is equally important to being ok with not knowing what the specific outcome might be. By sitting in the not knowing-ness of it all, we open ourselves up to unlimited possibilities. When we do this, we can ride the tide with the flow of the Universe and stop exhausting ourselves swimming upstream and trying to control our outcomes.

So here’s to a week of unlimited possibilities and not knowing where we are all going to end up.

Cleaning up our mess

2009-09-10T22:55:00.000-07:00

As we move through life
There is much to address
Instead of leaving our trash behind
Let’s clean up our mess

Hello everyone. We are half way through summer, can you believe it? I hope you are all staying cool and remembering to stay hydrated as well as helping to keep children and elders hydrated.

Last week, I wrote about learning lessons as we navigate our way through life. This week I’ll be touching on the lessons we learn as children and pass on when we have kid’s of our own. One lesson that I am constantly teaching my daughter is that of reminding her to leave her surroundings the way she found it which includes cleaning up after herself. Just yesterday as we were leaving, I asked her to put her toys away in her room and pick up the blanket she had left on the floor. When we got in the car and were leaving I thought of the type of example I am being to my daughter. Do I pick up after myself when she is around me and more importantly what other messes in my life do I need to clean up to be the best mom I can be?

Many of us have “messes” that may not be seen by others. These could be considered secrets or shame that we might be holding to and we don’t want anyone to know about. These are things in our lives that we might not want to face in terms of our finances, our health, our relationships, our personal and professional lives. You can consider these issues “clutter of the soul” and until you clean up the mess around those areas, your soul will not be free to help you be the best person you can be and shine your light and special gifts to the world.

I have a lot of clutter around my relationship with money and how I manage it. So this week I will finish the budget chart I set up on my computer and will keep accurate records of where I spend my money so that I can start to clean out the mess around this situation which will be the first step in regaining and maintaining a healthy relationship with money.

What can you do this week to help clean up your mess? Do you need to make that doctor’s appointment you’ve been putting off, spend more time with your children and loved ones, or perhaps you need to have a conversation with a co-worker, spouse or friend that you’ve been putting off until later. Whatever it might be, you will feel better once you’ve started to clean up your personal clutter and it will trickle down to other areas of your life that will open up more space for you. Consider it a small but important step in helping clean up the collaborative mess that we’ve all created.

Here’s wishing you a week of getting rid of clutter and letting go of what no longer works for you or serves your best interest.

Life's Lesson Plan

2009-09-10T22:54:00.000-07:00

We’ve had our share of heartbreak
Even say we’ve been burned
Instead of wondering what went wrong
Look for the lessons learned

Hi friends. I hope last week was filled with moments of gratitude and abundant blessings. Last week, I introduced you all to Shelly who is fighting for her life against a rare form of cancer. We are keeping her in our prayers and are keeping hope and faith alive that she will beat this and be one of the greatest success stories ever told.

Unfortunately, not all people dealing with life altering situations make it through their struggles. At some point in our lives, we have all experienced loss of loved ones, jobs, friends, relationships and some of us have even lost ourselves along the way. Sometimes we feel so much heartbreak we aren’t sure if we can go on. We ask ourselves why it had to happen and try to make heads and tails of our lives.

Any type of loss is a sort of “death” in our lives. What I mean by this is that when we suffer any type of heartbreak we go through stages of anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It’s important to remember that these stages don’t necessarily appear “in order” and that even though you’ve started to accept the situation you may still experience depression, anger, denial and bargaining again. One day you may find yourself waking up really angry and can’t figure out why. Eventually you connect it to your experience of heartbreak and may say to yourself “wow, I thought I was over it”.

You’ve heard the sayings, “there is always a silver lining” and “the gold is in the dark”. These sayings are to remind us that even when we experience heartbreak and loss, there are important lessons for each of us to learn. I recently heard in an interview done with Louise Hay that once we think we learned the lesson, it will come back to us at least one more time to see if our reaction to that lesson has changed. In a movie that I just watched tonight, I was reminded that these events, however traumatic, make us who we are and often remind us of our compassion and our ability for forgiveness which helps to open up our hearts.

So maybe we will never completely be over the loss and heartbreak in our lives, but once we learn what was specifically laid out just for us from the Universe, we will be able to move forward and be well prepared for the next lesson that comes along and will face those lessons with more courage, love and strength than we had before.

Wishing you a week of opportunity.

Teach Your Children

2009-09-10T22:53:00.001-07:00

Value, ethics and love all start in the home
We can’t always be where our kids will roam
But what we can teach
Instead of scarcity and lack
What it means to live abundantly and give back

Hello all. I hope you had a good week and that this week is starting out well for you.

As my poem states above, values, ethics and love start in the home. Unfortunately, with the stress that many people are under and with the programs that have been taken away from our schools, our children end up being the ones who suffer. Many times we sit and wonder how we are going to pay the bills and make sure our kids have enough food on the table, not to mention having enough left over for after school programs and events that help our kids with social skills while teaching them the importance of giving back to society. We do all we can for them and yet sometimes we end up falling short or wishing we could do more but aren’t sure how one person can make such a difference.

One of my goals as a coach is to provide guidance and support to kids so that by the time they finish high school, they have such a strong sense of themselves, they will go out into the “real” world with confidence and the ability to do anything their heart desires while knowing the importance of gratitude and giving back. Yet, I too get stuck with wondering how I am going to do this, what additional schooling will I need, who I should contact, the list goes on. So many times, I dream about how cool it would be to be able to do this instead of doing the research needed to make this a reality. And then suddenly this week, I stopped knocking on the door of “how” and looked to the open window that was called opportunity.

A few days ago, I was introduced to a like-minded soul who is giving back to humanity through his music. I have been told many times that I have a knack for connecting people to one another. A conduit of such, so this week my way of giving back and contributing to the greater good is to introduce you to Christopher Milo Productions, a musician and crew that is dedicated through music to help a 5 year old beautiful angel by the name of Shelly. Shelly is suffering from a form of cancer called Neuroblastoma. You can see more of Shelly’s story at www.christophermilo.com. I have spoken a few times with Christopher and I told him that I would share his mission in my blog and ask that everyone that reads this to say a healing prayer for Shelly and to pass on the information to keep the prayer circle going. That’s all we’re asking for is one minute out of your day to say a prayer for Shelly. If you aren’t the praying type, please send out healing energy to Shelly and all who are in need of it.

As the days run into each other this week, please take time out to bring yourself and the world healing energy. Think about it, if all people that read this blog focus on healing energy and then share that with others, what a difference it can make.

Here’s to a week full of inspiration and contribution (remember that doesn’t have to involve money) J

Problem Solved

2009-09-10T22:52:00.001-07:00

We are faced with problems
And we wonder what to do
What if solving the issue
Is to first admit that the problem is you?

Hello all. How did you do with letting go of some of your control last week?

I realize that this week’s topic might rub some of you the wrong way and the first four lines of this blog have caused you to close your email and delete this. I hope that it peaks your curiosity enough to keep you reading. I am bringing about this subject because of an email that I received this week that partially read: It's really a nice day when you can sit by yourself and not have any problems. When you do that, then you'll find out that you were also the source of your problems. And all the people you blamed for being your problem, were only reflecting to you your state of imbalance.

That statement made me take a hard look at what I see as problems in my life and challenged me to see my so called issue’s for what they are. We all have many challenges and situations that we see as problems and we rack our brains to try to find solutions. Instead of looking to ourselves, we look around for things and people that we can place blame on. When we do this, not only do we bring in more negative energy but we give up our power to those very things and people that we believe have brought on our grief. As the above states, these people and things are just reflections of ourselves where we could be “out of balance” with ourselves. I prefer talking about being in harmony with ourselves, but for the cause of this blog, either one works.

In coaching, we discuss different areas of your life; there are several including relationships, career, play and fun, health and wellness, finances and a few others. While I think that we won’t have a balance of all of these at one time, I think that we can create harmony in all of the areas of our lives by first accepting what is not in harmony or what we see as being “out of balance”. So when a situation in your life comes up and you quickly decide who and what is to blame for your problem, try and take a step back and see where you might feel out of balance with yourself about that situation. If it is someone at work that annoys you, maybe you need to create a shift in the area of your life around career. Just like if you and your spouse or significant other can’t stop arguing about money, maybe there is something you are feeling about your financial place in your life that you haven’t seen yet.

For this week, when I start to blame something or someone for what I see as a problem, the first thing I am going to do is take a step back and see where I may be out of balance or harmony with parts of my life and then see what new opportunity there might be for me in seeing something new and different about myself that I hadn’t seen or wasn’t willing to see before. What will you do differently?

What are you trying to control

2009-09-10T22:51:00.001-07:00

To accomplish our dreams
We set up our goals
Is one of your first steps
To give up control?

Peaceful greetings to one and all. I hope that you had a great week and that you are continuing down your path that was meant just for you. We all have our own paths to walk down. Some of us walk down the path that has been set out for us and some decide to blaze their own trail. Whichever one is right for you is for you to decide. One thing I am almost certain of is that whatever path we choose, from time to time we set out personal goals for ourselves in regards to our jobs, our families, our future and ourselves.

Some of us give up our goals when what we set out to accomplish doesn’t work out they way that we think they should have. I know that in the past when I had set up a goal and it was too hard or it took too long or it was just too much work, I would give up and start over again. There were those times where I would “white knuckle” it, holding on to the control I thought I had of the situation. I find that when I “white knuckle” life and try to hold on to it, I am faced with struggle and sometimes unhappiness because what I thought I wanted didn’t happen the way I thought I wanted it to.

I think that we limit ourselves when we try to control the outcomes that we strive for. We limit ourselves by seeing the outcome as only one way. Sometimes we even dig our heels in pounding on that proverbial door that never opens and we are so busy trying to control it, we don’t see the other door that just opened wide for us. It’s been said that when you make a plan, God laughs. It was John Lennon who wrote in his song Beautiful Boy “life is what happens to us when we’re busy making other plans”.

This week, while making my plans and setting my goals, the first guidance from my spirit guides I will be asking for is to let go of the control and show me opportunities I may not have seen before if I had held on to tight to the control I thought I needed. What is it that you may need to let go of?

Wishing you a new week of endless opportunity…

When Life Isn't What We Want It To Be

2009-09-10T22:50:00.001-07:00

Life experiences, they say
Are the best teacher
And it’s usually the negative ones
When we become the seeker

I hope that you all had a great week last week. A good friend of mine had called and she’s in a very dark place right now. She had requested to be removed from the mailing list because she was having a hard time seeing the positive out of the negative events in her life. Don’t get me wrong, she has a lot of, to be blunt, crap be throwing at her right now and I don’t blame her in the least for where she is. It got me thinking about how sending bright and positive messages out in the world might not be what is always needed. In the coaching work that I do, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows; it can get very deep, very negative and very dark for some. However at the end of that dark path, the light starts to shine and the lessons that are taken away are nothing short of amazing and the most incredible part is that the person travelling down that path finds their own answers and their own way.

Negative and traumatic experiences that rock our place in this world, I believe, are necessary in order to knock us off balance, wake us up and make us take a look around. A few days ago, I received an email message that read:

We learn from our experiences in this world, and we often learn most effectively from the negative experiences. It's not necessary, but sometimes when things are going well, we tend to get a little complacent and a little sluggish in our approach to life. Then something comes in that upsets us, that shakes us up, and we may stop taking things for granted…

There was a little more to the quote but the part that spoke to my heart was the last line about how we may stop taking things for granted when all is going “right” in our life. This being said, I’m not wishing any of you trauma and grief but maybe, just maybe, the trauma that shakes us up is exactly what we need in order to take us where we need to go…down our paths, feeling our way through the dark times so we can be even more grateful when the light shines again.

Find Your Spark

2009-09-10T22:47:00.000-07:00

Three legends left the earth last week
Lives of legacy, they left their mark
What a great reminder for all of us
To find our uniqueness, to find our spark…

How was your week last week? I hope that you were able to get in touch with that spirit within you that encourages you to being the greatest you there is.

We lost some legendary celebrities last week. Say what you will about these three who are now among the angels; they all brought a unique spark. Ed McMahon and his “here’s Johnny” voice, Farrah Fawcett and her signature hair and Michael Jackson and his talent to light up a stage and entertain with his voice and dance moves. It got me to thinking about how each and every one of us has a unique talent and some of us might not know yet what that talent is and other’s might be afraid to find that talent and let it shine.

So, for this week, I am sending along a poem written by Marriane Williamson that begs to ask us what stands in the way of us of finding that spark inside that is aching to be released.

"We fear that we are inadequate, but our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves: "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be these things? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people around you won't feel insecure. We are all meant to shine as children do. We are born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically releases others."—Marriane Williamson, from 'A Return to Love'.

After reading that poem, I hope that you are inspired to find your own special spark and go out into your world encouraging others to do the same.

A Conversation on Spirituality

2009-09-10T22:45:00.000-07:00

We all experience times of
Sadness and grief
When you are feeling lost
What’s your belief?

First of all, I would like to wish each and every dad out there Happy Father’s Day. I hope you had a restful day filled with love and relaxation.

I wasn’t sure about this week’s blog on spirituality. When people hear the word spirituality, it is often associated with religion and for so many that is such a sensitive topic. Today, I ask that you read this blog with an open mind and heart and be willing to see spirituality in a different way.

I have had many a conversation with people about spirituality and what it meant to them. Most of the time, it was associated with what we were taught growing up. Some of us went to church every Sunday, some of us only went to church on holidays and some of us never went to church. And then there is the spectrum in between. No matter where you fit in to this picture, I believe that we all have a spirit within us and that it is very personal and very sacred to each of us. For me, spirituality is the belief of something “bigger” than me out in the Universe. Whether it is a “universal energy” or “God” or even mother Earth, I believe that there is something out there that connects us to ourselves, to our beliefs and to each other. That “something” is what gives us the inspiration to dream and create the lives that we desire.

I have had a lot of change in my life recently and have had the opportunity to be still and get in touch with my spirituality. My spirituality exists within me, on the outside of me and through me. It is what keeps me going when all I want to do is stay in bed and pull the covers over my head. It is what drives me to learn more about who I am and how I want to show up in the world. It is the one thing that I have learned to lean on when all else seemed lost, even my faith. It is what has helped me navigate my life through the storm and has encouraged me to dance in the rain.

As I said, spirituality is very personal to each and every one of us. Maybe some of you never thought of yourselves as a spiritual being. Maybe you aren’t sure what it is to be spiritual.

I found a website that explains spirituality (in a non religious way) that I wanted to share with you. At the end of the article, there are some questions that might benefit you as you look at your life and what drives you to get up every day and keep going. Click here for the article.

I wish you a week filled with opportunities to find the spirit within you.

When it's time to make a change

2009-09-10T22:43:00.000-07:00

We all have our own reasons
To take a new direction
Accept that mistakes will happen along the way
It’s about the journey, not perfection

Hello all,

Because I believe that moving through change with ease is an important part of life, I dedicated this week to “ok you want to make a change, so now what?”

I found this quote from President Obama who said “Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” While he was talking about us together as a nation, I think that we can also use that for ourselves. In order to create change and movement in our lives, it depends on our thoughts, our words and our actions. It has nothing to do with another person, what they think or what they do. Yes, we are interdependent of each other but we don’t need to wait for them to do something in order for us to make the changes that we want to make.

I ran across a great article last week about what motivates us to change. And instead of making this blog only my point of view, I thought I would CHANGE it up and include other’s ideas as well. Click here for the link to the article. Though you might not relate to every word in the article, there are some good tips at the end that will help you make the change you are seeking.

Wishing you a week of positive changes (even if it’s just in your attitude) and as always lots of opportunities to be the amazing person that you were put on this planet to be.

Change - It's not just for the jar anymore

2009-09-10T22:42:00.000-07:00

It can be found at the bottom of your pocket
Or under your couch
Finding that sort of change is always fun
But is how you deal with the “other” sort of change
That matters
When the day is done…

How was your week last week? Did you remember to find your ME moments and celebrate that? If you forgot or were “too busy”, what do you think would need to change in order for you to recognize the magnificent self that you are?

My apologies for the lateness of this blog. Life happens when we least expect it sometimes and we have to be able to adjust and change which is a perfect segue into the topic for this week. This week is how you deal with change. For me, not getting this email out for the morning was driving me a bit crazy but then I realized that it is the ones who know how to adapt and change with grace and ease that will be most successful in their lives. So instead of freaking out and worrying about getting out the email, I chose the opportunity to look at the situation with new eyes and thought "what a great example this will be for the blog."

Change can be scary, exciting, nerve wracking, anxiety driven and so much more. I found the following quote by Alan Cohen on change: It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power. Wow! There is power in change! That is good news because while we are all dealing with our own personal change and growth, the world has experienced changes that can cause us to feel very uncomfortable and insecure about the future. From the wars around the world, to the economy issues, the polar caps melting, and a new leader of our country, I would say most of us have seen more change in the last year or so than we might have ever expected in such a short period of time.

It’s important for each and everyone one of us to be the change that we want to see in our homes, in our communities, our schools and our world. In order for us to be that change, we need to be comfortable with change and accept that maybe it’s not the change itself that we are in fear of but how we react to it. You have an opportunity every day to change what is not working for you anymore in your life. If there are any areas in your life that are no longer meaningful to you would you be willing to look at changing what you would need to in order to get one step closer to having the time of your life? It can be as simple as changing your attitude and perspective and see where that takes you. This week I welcome you to think about what change, no matter how big or small you are wishing to take. Next week, we'll talk about wanting to make a change and what gets in the way for us.

And speaking of change, check out the new front page of my website, complete with an inspirational video I created about having the time of your life. Just click on website and find the video on the top of the page where it asks you "Are you ready to have the time of your life?" Great question, isn't it?

Have a great week full of lots of loose change while you practice adapting to the changes that are going on around you and within you.

Supersize Me!

2009-09-10T22:40:00.000-07:00

Give yourself kudos for even the smallest of things
Take a breath, hold and release
Bear witness to the joy it brings

Look at your life through new and fresh eyes
Lo’ and behold
Fries aren’t the only thing
That can be super sized…

Last week we addressed the elephant in the room and this week I thought I would focus on celebrating the smaller things in life.

I had an interesting conversation with a good friend of mine last week and we were talking about steps he had taken to live full out in order to have the time of his life. He had told me a few things he had done in order to take a step in the right direction and then ended with something like “though they aren’t a big deal”. Sorry, I had to paraphrase a bit there but you get my drift. Being the coach and confidante that I am, I asked him “do you notice how you minimize almost everything, even the good things?”

It got me thinking of how some of us don’t give ourselves enough credit and we don’t celebrate the most minuscule of things. For example, sometimes getting up, getting ourselves ready and out the door for work is all we can muster for a day. How many times have you done that and then thought to yourself, “well I still wasn’t able to get this done or that done?” Instead of that thought, how might your day have turned out if you said “whooo hooo, I got out of bed and put in a good days work today?” We tend to overwork our minds and our bodies. I think it’s time to give ourselves the break that we deserve and shift our focus to super size our spirits and our passion for life.

So this week would you be willing to find one thing every single day to celebrate about yourself? You don’t have to share it with anyone but yourself. If you want to share with others, please do so. Celebrate your ME moment and don’t worry about looking arrogant or prideful. It’s what you feel about you on the inside that counts and I can bet that if you take the time each day to celebrate even the tiniest of things you will become a source of inspiration not only to yourself but to others.

So go ahead, super size your spirit and passion for life and see what unfolds for you.

Wishing you a week filled with goodies, smiles and lots of celebrating YOU!

The Elephant in the Room

2009-09-10T22:39:00.001-07:00

Out the window, sad elephant stares
Why is he locked inside?
How did he get there?

It’s time to face the issues
That we might not see
But are definitely at hand
It’s time to set that elephant free
To romp and play and roam the land…

I am sure all of you have heard of the term “the elephant in the room”. I was looking for a way to describe it and found this meaning on the internet. “Having an elephant in the room is a metaphor for living with a huge issue and either you see the elephant but do nothing to get rid of it or you don’t even see it”. In other words, there is some issue that you have been avoiding or denying because either it’s so big you don’t know where to start or you don’t think it’s that big of a deal and hope that it will just go away by itself. Unfortunately, not dealing with the issue or issues at hand will only cause the elephant to get bigger.

And because each of us are unique in our own ways, we will have unique issues but I would bet that most of them revolve around our relationship, our finances, our homes or our health. Probably for most of us, it’s more than one. I have been known to have more than one elephant in the house at a time and man does it get cramped and crowded and messy. In all seriousness, when you find yourself with one or more elephants, tackle one at a time. When you have the first one handled, you will find it that much easier to set the rest free.

For this week, challenge yourself to first recognize the elephant. Pay some attention to it and see what you would need to remove from your thoughts in order to set it free. Can you come up with one excuse you think of that helps you avoid that beast of burden? To get you started, here is mine for the week…”with everything going on in my life, I just don’t have time to…

OK, now your turn…

Wishing you a week of inner beauty, laughter and peace as you move through your days. As always, I am here to support and guide you in having the time of your life, no matter what that is.

Superheroes and their masks

2009-09-10T22:35:00.000-07:00

Superheroes and their masks --- what is that all about?

Last week, I was thinking about superheroes and the masks that they wear. I was also thinking about how if they didn’t wear the masks and costumes, their super powers were taken away. Well most of them at least. I wonder if their powers were really gone or if that is what they were told would happen so they dare not try to be powerful in their own right unless they were wearing a mask. As I was talking to my sister about this, I was reminded of how superman still had his power. Yet, while this is true, when he didn’t have that huge S on his chest and was flying around town, he had to keep it hidden and take on the role of a “nerdy” newspaper reporter, which in itself was a mask. This to me was art imitating life. So many of us, myself included wears many masks at different parts in our lives while hiding our own true hidden power that lies inside of all of us. We don’t dare expose that part of ourselves unless we are wearing some sort of mask or costume.

I recalled one of my favorite movies, Never Been Kissed when the teacher was explaining to his students that when you wear a costume and pretend to be someone else you can do things that you never even dared to do with them on. So this got me to thinking about all the masks that I’ve donned throughout life to fit in, to blend in or to even grab the center of attention depend on what it was I thought I needed. Mine was the power of a chameleon, a comedian and a charmer. I played them all very well. But like most superheroes, at the end of the day, even though I had accomplished a job well done I went home alone and empty inside.

So I wonder do we keep our masks on because we are afraid of our own special abilities and the power that they hold? As you go through your week this week, see if you are wearing a mask and is it promoting your own personal power or diminishing it…

Some mask examples:
Happy girl/Happy guy: Are you wearing a smile just because you think it’s the right thing to do and you don’t want people to know what you’re feeling or maybe you don’t want to know what you’re feeling.

Martyr: Boy this is a popular one of mine, I even have it in different colors…where might you be a martyr this week?

Entitled supporter: This is my personal favorite. Are you in a supportive role at home or at work or with your friends? If you are, do you give unconditional support or do you expect something in return?

One thing I wanted to mention is that while I think that we wear masks at different times in our lives to get through our days, I also see many people being their authentic selves and that’s a beautiful thing. Hmm…since all people that we come in contact with are reflections of ourselves, perhaps I see these authentic beings when I myself decide to remove that mask for a moment and be my authentic self. That might be another blog in its own right...

Have a bright and blessed week of self discovery and if anything comes up for you around this and you need additional support, I’d be happy to lend an ear, a shoulder and my heart.

Peacefully yours,
Mary

Penny for Your Thoughts - May 10, 2009

2009-09-10T22:32:00.000-07:00

Thoughts come in and out
A natural flow
Where they go next
Only you can know…

Greetings and to all the mom’s out there I hope you had a fantastic mother’s day.

So imagine if you truly got a penny with each thought you had? I guess there would be no national debt, no bailout packages, and no stimulus checks. We’d have all the money we ever wanted. Well, unfortunately that “penny” is make believe and if we were truly paid for our thoughts, I think they are worth a lot more, for it is what we are made of, our reality and our perception is born from our very own thoughts.

Last week I had mentioned that I would keep a thought journal during the week and then write a little bit about the outcome. Even in this moment, thoughts are coming in a mile a minute…let me take a deep breath…why don’t you do the same just for a moment…inhale and count to 3..hold for a count of 3…and now exhale for a count of 3. There much better.

OK where was I? Oh yes, the thought journal. Did I journal everyday about my thoughts? The truth is no but I did journal about them and what was created by them. I had both positive and negative thoughts and some were even transferred to other people (it’s called blame and judgment in case you were wondering). One thing I did last week was practice a tool that I had learned from a friend of mine who has worked with a coach by the name of Byron Katie. It’s called Judge Your Neighbor and once you have the thought of the person you turn it back around to yourself. For example, a person at work had said something and I immediately thought “how can this person be so negative, how sad for them and how rude”. As soon as I had that thought I turned it around to me and looked to see where I was showing negativity and where I was perhaps being rude. I did this through the day that day and into the next. It became a sort of a game for me. I realized that whether the thoughts were negative or positive and if they were coming to me by way of a person in my life, I was able to see that this wonderful being on the other side of me was just showing me myself and qualities that I might not have been seeing at the time. I was able to let go of blame and resentment and now when I thought of this person I quietly said to myself “thank you for the lesson you just gave me.” It turned things around for me and all in all, with what I have going currently in this crazy game of life, the week turned out to be a pretty great one. At least I THOUGHT it was.

Your mission this week, should you choose to accept it, is to turn your thoughts around. When you are blaming someone or some circumstance for something in your life, turn that around and see where you do it. For example, “he must not care for me or he wouldn’t….” can be turned around to “I must not care for me because…” No, it’s not an easy process and if any of you are courageous to give it a try and need some encouragement around it, let me know, I’d be happy to listen.

As always, I wish you a week filled with many lessons, lots of extraordinary moments and an abundant supply of joy.

Peace to your body, mind and spirit,
Mary
p.s. for more on Byron Katie and The Work please go to http://www.thework.com/thework.asp#1
hasEML = false;

Fear and "Swine' Flu - Let's change our thought process...

2009-05-03T19:12:00.000-07:00

I just received an email from my daughter's school district. It turns out there that has been one or two cases of the "swine" flu in the district. Of course, upon reading this message the first feeling that kicked in for me was fear. I started to wonder if it was safe for my daughter to attend school tomorrow or take her to her gymnastics class this coming Tuesday. I got a bit freaked out and my world became about what I would do if something happened to her. Sure, this is a normal human reaction for any parent. Then I began to think about a lesson I learned about a year ago. A lecturer wrote two words on a board:

Illness and
Wellness

So the first thing she did was take off the "ness". What do you get? Ill and Well...and then she decided to take off the double ll's and what do you get? I and We. It seems, by this statement, when we are focused on the "I" part of our lives it could mean that we bring more illness to ourselves. I also noticed how when I read that email from the school district it became about ME and how would I handle it? I quickly recognized that and when I turned to the "WE" I was able to take a deep breath, pray for all those who have been infected and pray that the spreading of the disease pasts quickly. When I shifted from a place of fear and being in "I" mode and went into the "WE" mode, the fear dissipated and I was more at ease. My own fear made it all about "me" in that moment and not about anyone else.

Don't mistake ME moments as wrong or shameful. I think we all need our ME moments and let's be loud and proud about them. However, when the ME moment is driven by fear, I think that something else is going on besides acknowledging ourselves and what we've accomplished. The fear in us leads us to illness and vice versa and back again. Here are a few other thoughts on how illness and fear can go hand in hand.

Illness and fear can both lay you flat and create you to stop in your tracks and live your life. If you become ill, of course you aren't able to function at the level that you are used to. And if you live in fear, you are so worried and stressed about life in general it brings on illness.

A good example of this happened to me on Friday night. I was going to treat myself to a movie and then I started thinking things like "what if someone in the theatre coughs or sneezes while I'm in there?" "What if the guy serving my popcorn and giving me my soda has been infected"? It caused enough concern in me that I ended up staying home.

Don't get me wrong I think that caution, especially in this day and age is mandatory and we need to be cognizant of our surroundings and the people around us. However, I don't believe that we should fear going outside because we might become ill or bring the bug home to our families.

When fear takes over, we worry more and have less joy in our lives. We worry if we are going to get laid off, if we'll be in an accident, if our kids and family are ok. We worry about our spouse or or partner or lover being unfaithful. The list can go on and on. I grew up with alot of worry and in the last few years, especially the last few months have learned to let go of the worry and focus more on joy and living every day present and aware.

An author by the name of Mike Dooley has a website (www.tut.com) and has written a few books. His basis of his books is that Thoughts Become Things. If this in case is the truth, which I believe it is, and we are in a constant state of worry and fear, what do you think will become of our situations in life? What we worried about will come to fruition which will bring us more grief, fear and worry. It's a vicious cycle.

Now, just imagine if your thought was something like "I know that there is sickness out in the world, but I know that I am happy and healthy and will continue to live that way". Sure, we've all done our share of affirmations and I think that affirmations are an excellent tool because eventually if you hear a statement enough times, for better or for worse it does become your reality. It is time for us to all to be present and aware of what our thoughts are at any given time a day. This week, I'm going to keep a thought journal and write down as many thoughts as I can remember as they happen. This seems like a daunting task, but often I have the same thought over and over so it shouldn't be that hard and my thought about this is that it will be fun and interesting to see how they affect my day.

I would like to invite you to do the same and see if anything surprises you. Go ahead make a list of your thoughts and outcomes during the week and see if they correlate in any way. I would love for you to share your results with me and I promise to share mine with you as well.

Here is to your week having many thoughts of abundance, beauty, peace and lots and lots of lots of joy!

Mary

I wish you peace, love and enough

2008-12-14T18:01:00.000-08:00

For the mind…

As we get ready to say goodbye to Fall and hello to Winter, I want to wish you peace, love and enough. This month I am dedicating my newsletter to Melissa Etheridge and her cd “A New Though for Christmas”. Not only does she put a great spin on some of the classics, but she wrote a few new songs that speak of peace on Earth and how we as one can make that a reality. Yes, it will take work, but I believe that we have entered a new era of change and if we work together and do our parts, we can have peace. Peace in our hearts, peace of mind, and ultimately peace on Earth.

So what I thought I would do is quote a few lines of hers from some of my favorite songs and add my thoughts to them.

Here we stand in unity, making one choice to be free, every truth blends into one as we believe it can be done…

Here we stand as soldiers now, turning our swords into ploughs, there is not a nobler climb, achieving peace in our own time

I know peace begins with me, with all I feel and all I see. And I know it’s no easy task, removing our own fearful mask…

WOW! I just find those lyrics so amazing and I could write a book off of those but I’ll work on keeping it to just a newsletter for now.

I’ll start with the first line. Here we stand in unity, making one choice to be free. When I read that sentence I am reminded of the recent changes we’ve seen this year. We’ve seen the first black man voted to be President of the United States. We’ve experienced outrageous gas prices over $4.00 a gallon quickly fall to under $2.00 in a matter of day. We’ve seen the makings of another “depression”. Our sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers are far away in another country fighting in a war. Not so bright and full of sunshine is it? So now I put a question out to all of us. What can WE, as ONE do today, right now, right this moment to bring a little more peace in our hearts, our minds and our spirits? How can we bring peace into our homes, our workplaces, our communities? What would you be willing to do today to start creating peace?

Here we stand as soldiers now, turning our swords into ploughs. As I typed that sentence above, my eyes welled with tears. I see us all putting down our weapons and picking up ploughs to pave the way for the children of the world. When I speak of weapons, I not only thought of weapons of mass destruction as bombs, guns, knives, etc. I thought that our words and actions can also be considered weapons of mass destruction and it’s time to lay those down as well. In order to bring about peace we need to not only stop fighting with each other but with ourselves as well. If we are to plough the way of peace for our children, we will have to come together to make sure that we create the brightest future for them. I believe that this starts with filling our own hearts, minds and bodies first.

And for the final piece of the song I’ve shared, I know peace begins with all I feel and all I see. And I know it’s no easy task, removing our own fearful mask. Boy could I relate to this one. This is what much of my coaching is based upon. Making peace with all of our feelings and thoughts and finally removing our masks of fear, allowing our real selves to be seen and even be vulnerable. How can we be at peace even when our hearts are being broken or on the days where we feel like we are at our wit’s end? Perhaps it begins with acceptance of ourselves as we are in that very moment, feeling and owning our feelings knowing that we are enough and that no matter what we carry peace in our body, mind and spirit. For when we are truly at peace, the things that trip us up in life, no matter how big or small, become stepping stones to our path of discovery, learning and adventure all showing us the way to our extraordinary selves.

I would like to end this section of my newsletter with a few more quotes from some of Melissa’s songs that touched my soul….

Light a Light….”Tis the season of change. The seasons are the contrast, the key to life and how it’s done. It’s time to let go of all our past, and let go of what’s to come.

Write down your excuse, and turn them into dust, plant the seeds of change and water it with trust..

It’s time we stop believing, that we are not enough. I know they said it on the tv, so turn it off, break the chains, step outside and feel the love…..

It’s Christmas Time….What if we all start spreading the news, there’s nothing to fear anymore, we are connected, one family of light, hallelujah..

It’s up to you now. Would you be willing to email me what one thing you can do this holiday season to put down your swords and pick up your ploughs in order to bring about peace in your body, mind and spirit? I would like to collect them and post them on my new website which will be launched in January, 2009!

For the body…

In terms of peace for the body this month, I would like to suggest that you don’t deny yourself of merriment this season by being on a “diet” or worrying that one, even two or three pieces of candy or cake or cookies or “fill in the blank” will mean that you are “bad” or that you are “cheating”. Deprivation gets us nowhere fast.

Something I did over Thanksgiving that helped me to stay healthy was to focus on family and friends during our celebration. I also tasted a little bit of everything, slowly tasting and savoring every morsel being thankful for the food instead of making it my enemy.

Another way to bring peace to your body is accepting and loving it every day. Instead of concentrating on the parts of your body you don’t like, try something new. Send those parts of you some love daily and thank them for being a part of you. As it was once said, “what you can’t be with won’t let you be”. By being able to accept and love your body exactly as it is right now will change your attitude and who knows maybe your waist line.

Remember to move your body as well. If it’s hard to be outdoors due to the weather, spend time during commercials doing a few simple yoga stretches or march in place. One of my favorite “workouts” lately is putting on lively music and dancing around while I’m doing chores or just hanging out. You can also try some relaxing yoga to balance out the craziness of your day. Check out this link for some great poses. Put on some mellow music and stretch. Even if you just have five minutes, your body will thank you for giving it the love it deserves.

For The Spirit

During times like we’ve been experiencing I thought some childhood youth and innocence was in order. This is the letter from Virginia O’Hanlon to the editor of the New York Sun, first printed in 1897.

Dear Editor:

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says “If you see it in the Sun, it’s so”. Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Dear Virginia:

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s are little. In this great universe of ours, man in a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We would have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest men, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love and romance can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus!? Thank god he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 year from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Self worth compared to net worth

2008-10-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

I was watching Oprah the other day and she was interviewing her friend Dr. Oz about all the illnesses that people have been experiencing due to the economic crisis that the world is facing. Something struck me when Dr. Oz spoke of a person’s self worth as compared to their net worth. I was reminded of Debbie Ford saying “this is a microcosm or the macrocosm”, or as I would like to say “it’s a little picture inside of the big picture” or “a piece of the grand puzzle”. Yes, I’m getting to the point.

For years my self worth was wrapped up in my net worth or what I pretended my net worth was. I was living way beyond my means in order to feel worthy, be acceptable. My inner world was covered up with layers of fear, regret and anger and in order to make myself feel better and feel good about myself, I went shopping. I bought things I didn’t need as well as things that I thought I couldn’t live without; clothing, self help books, dvd’s, cd’s, etc. Money was spent on seminars and workshops and of course in the booths that are at these events. I was in debt and wasn’t sure what I was going to do to get out of it. I would hide credit card bills from my husband or hide things I had purchased so I wouldn’t be questioned about them. I wasted minutes, even hours of energy trying to figure out how I was going to get out of this mess I so voluntarily stepped right into.

One of the “staples”, in my opinion, about creating an extraordinary life for oneself is taking full and 100% ownership and responsibility for your life. I found it really easy coaching others on how to live in integrity and full responsibility, yet I couldn’t teach it to myself. Recently, after attending another workshop (hey at least this one was included in the full price of the education I’m receiving), it “clicked”. I knew that I would not be able to tap into my self-worth until I got real and cleaned up my net worth. This realization led to a few very difficult conversations with myself and my husband as well as a very humbling experience with a credit counselor that was a complete stranger to me. In the end, I am relieved and will be debt free sooner than I would have been if I would have tried to be the strong one and take care of everything myself without asking for help. I saved myself from drowning in a sea of debt and despair. I have begun to clean up my net worth opening up new space for my self worth to grow and prosper.

As you move through your week, remember that the best things in life truly are free. A hug from a loved one, a talk with a good friend, deep breathing and probably the most important, taking a few minutes every day to be grateful for all that you have.

Introducing my stubborn self

2008-10-12T21:14:00.001-07:00

Bitchy Bertha
©2008
by: Mary Cunningham

Dig in my heels
Arms fold across chest
Go ahead and try
Do your best

Nobody can tell me
What to do
Not one soul
Not even you

I’ll do it when I’m ready
What a great excuse
There’s too much to give up
And too much to lose

Even though it’s not working
I’ll stand my ground
Put up my “dukes”
Ready for the next round

You sit and ask questions
What do I need?
Do you really even care?
Just another good deed?

It’s time to accept me
Just as I am
Use faith, trust and love
Be willing to surrender
Light as a feather
On the wings of a dove

Embracing Change

2008-03-09T11:29:00.000-07:00

I recently attended a Women’s Journey into Wholeness workshop. The weekend was filled with loving embraces, beautiful tears and motivating and inspiring speakers. We were asked to write down what we were willing to give up in order to be the incredible beings of light that we are. My list was long and filled with words like fear, shame, judgment, excuses, etc. What I finally came up with was “I am willing to let go of the self I had created, I have known and been up until this moment in time.” As the negative energy was cleared from my body and I threw the paper into the fire, I felt that yet another part of my ego had died and another piece of divinity was created, making me whole. I decided from that moment in front of the bon fire, my motto would continue to be, “I am willing to let go of the self I had created, I have known and been up until this moment in time.”

One of the beautiful gifts we’ve been given from the Universe is free will. We are free to choose whoever and whatever we want to be. One of my favorite Ghandi quotes is “You must be the change you want to see in this world.” Ghandi also talked of sharing your passion and making a difference. My mission is to share my passion and make a difference, being the change that I would like to see in this world. By reading my blog, you will see that my focus is creating positive, powerful change in the world to bring more peace and sanity to humankind. It is my belief that if we can change who we are in our internal worlds, we can make a positive impact on the outer world.

Change isn’t easy for our egos, but it is inevitable. I recently changed my front page on my website along with changing who I was by sharing part of My Story. Some people fear change because it is about embracing the unknown along with being more open and vulnerable. We must learn to accept where we are in the present moment, not being terrified of changing our course in order to be who we are meant to be. I see many people, including myself, staying in their safe “worlds” because of the fear of failure or the fear of “if I change my course now, what if I’ll be worse off than I am now”. Our egos tell us “the grass is always greener”, “be happy with what you have now” and even “you are one of the luckier ones in the world.” This leads many of us to the question of “Who am I to deserve to live the fabulous, delicious life that I desire and dream of.” Most of the time, it just takes a shift in attitude and some quiet time in introspection to see what you need to give up or let go of in order to live a delicious, fabulous life being fully expressed and on fire.

So as we step into Spring, a good time for rebirth and renewal. I invite you to spend 5 minutes a day, sitting in a quiet place and ask yourself “What do I need to give up or let go of in order to live the fully expressed life that I deserve”. If you aren’t sure how to start with this, get a blank piece of paper and write “In order to live the life of my dreams, I….” You can start with writing down words, sayings, pictures, whatever comes to your mind. Don’t worry about grammar or what you are writing, just write. If it is easier for you to start with a blank document on your computer and type the words, go ahead and do that. If you are completely stuck or want to learn more about how to start living the life of your dreams, please contact me at 925-785-7452 or admin@life4ce.net.

Namaste’

Pro-Prosperity or Anti-Recession: Which Do YOU Choose?

2008-02-15T14:42:00.000-08:00

Sure enough, I opened my internet explorer this morning and one of the headlines read
“Greenspan says recession more than 50% likely”. That is the last time you will hear me mention that quote in this article as I would like to keep my lunch digesting in the correct direction.

Again, it goes back to the ripple effect and how positive and negative thoughts can create more of the same. When you read a headline like the one above do you think “Yes! It’s going to be a stellar year?” or do your thoughts start reeling about how you’re going to keep your job so you can pay your mortgage, feed and clothe your family? Do you settle for this just being how it is and hope for the best?

If you have seen the much raved about “The Secret” then you will remember that thoughts become things and that if we focus our attention on negative thoughts and feelings that is what we will surely attract more of.

You hear about the War on Terrorism all over the news today, but do you ever hear any demonstrations of Pro-Peace? Instead of holding up signs reading"Stop the Drilling", how about holding signs made out of recyclable products that read "Let’s Work Together and Bring Back the Rainforest". I think you see my point here.

The title of my blog is Pro-Prosperity or Anti-Recession, which do you choose? They may have the same meaning behind them, yet are very different. Look at the words "pro" and "prosperity". Both are positive in thought and action. Now think of "anti" and "recession", both words have negative connotations. It is simple as choosing a new perspective on how to look at things.

Each of us thinks a million thoughts a day. You have the power to choose your thoughts. If thinking one positive thought a day would help bring the world more peace and abundance, would you be willing to do that? I invite you over the coming weeks to come up with one positive thought, just one a day, write it down. This is something you can do upon waking, while brushing your teeth or driving to work. Once you have the thought, say it silently or out loud, and send out those ripples. We are all connected. In one way or another, your positive thought will touch us all.

I’ll start it off with this blog. I choose Pro-Prosperity, Pro-Life, Pro-Love and have plenty of abundance to share with the Universe. Please share this with everyone you know and if you desire, respond with your positive thought to this blog starting the Yes We Can campaign.

What do you choose?

The Ripples Were Good

2008-02-11T18:47:00.000-08:00

The ripples were good……

Excerpt taken from Joan of Arcadia (circa 2003):

Helen (reading suicide note from Adam's mom): Dearest boy, my Adam. I dreamed a dream, you and I facing each other in a tiny yellow boat on green water under a blue sky. Me and my son and a yellow boat. And we laugh, and the boat rocks and the ripples spread from the boat to pond to sea to sky and nothing can stop them, and nothing ever will. When you think of me Adam, know that in a world of pain, you were, and always will be my joy. Love mom

Adam: Thank you

Joan: The ripples were good.

In this world of negativity, I am pulled to look at how one person’s ripple effect can create a world of positive change. When I speak of the ripple effect, I speak of how one person’s actions or reactions can affect another’s (even without them being aware) and so on and so on and so on. We see this in the film Pay it Forward and in the much loved, but cancelled television show Joan of Arcadia.

Just the other day, I was approached by a young woman and the first words out of her mouth were “excuse me, I’m not a gang member, I’m not going to hurt you” and then she preceded to tell me the story of how she was stuck in my town of San Ramon with no way to get back to her hometown of Tracy. She had left her debit card at home and had no cash with her. I quickly reached for my wallet and took out every last bit of change I had and said “wait, I think I have a dollar in my car too”. Sure enough there was a dollar bill that had been sitting in the ashtray for months! Remind me to come back to that dollar, will you? I give the girl the money, tell her “when you have a chance, kindly pay it forward” and then ended with “bless you”. I think she was floored that first of all I gave her the money and then ended with a “bless you”. When I got in my truck to leave, I was thinking what her life must be like to assume that I am going to think she is a gang member and going to hurt me.

It’s been said that the outer world is a reflection of our inner world. The reason I don’t watch the news at all in the morning, afternoon or night is because you are immediately bombarded with all the chaos, confusion and negative energy that runs through the electrical wires with creepy energy and into your home. All you hear is who is to blame for what and why we need to be afraid. If this is 80% of what we see in our newspapers, television and radio ads, what must be going on in the inner world of humanity? More of the same?

The time is NOW for people to make a stand and say NO MORE! If one person could visualize what is available to them when fear and doubt can be overcome, imagine the ripple effect that would create.

And speaking of the dollar bill in my glove box, how LUCKY and GRATEFUL I am to be able to have that just sitting there for months and months. I am living in abundance.

Will you join me and the others who have bravely stood up to say Yes We Can?
(thank you to my good friend Scott who linked me to the video above)

We can be the change we want to see in the world....yes we can!

Will You Join Me?

2008-02-08T17:09:00.000-08:00

I have created this blog site to discuss the ways that we (yes, all of us) can collectively connect with the Universal Energy to create the much needed change our world needs. Stay tuned for my first blog coming soon.

Peace and light to all mankind,
Mary